While everyone's stress is different, there are two components that are universal to all anxiety and stress. Learning some simple techniques can create a huge difference in how we feel throughout the day, how we relate to others and our overall well being.
I came across Amishi Jha during an interview on the radio and was instantly fascinated. She is a neuropsychologist who studies attention. She validated the main causes of stress and anxiety that I see every day - and how to use this information to build the skills to decrease or eliminate stress and anxiety!
Here are the key points I got from her TedX talk:
1. Attention works like an amplifier
- Wherever attention (focus) goes, the brain follows
- Attention is like a flashlight in a dark room - where you shine the light is what you see and focus on
- What we choose to focus on directly impacts our perception
What do you focus on?
Do you want to feel happy but focus on what could go wrong, what you dislike about a situation or about yourself, what you can't control or what makes you feel powerless?
Do you want to feel happy but focus on what could go wrong, what you dislike about a situation or about yourself, what you can't control or what makes you feel powerless?
Where you shine the flashlight (focus) is what you see. If you focus on the negatives you are going to feel stressed and upset. If you want to feel happy and peaceful, focus on the positives - what you have accomplished, what did go right, the things you can control and the ways things worked out in the past.
2. Mind Wandering
When we are stressed, our minds tend to wander into memories of the past or into fantasies about the future; but that's not all - these wanderings often become ruminations about upsetting events from the past, and catastrophizing about the future. This is a sure-fired way to create anxiety.
Ironically, the more stressed and anxious we are, the more we tend to do these things, and the more we do them, the more stressed and anxious we become.
Dr. Jha explains something most therapists know - an extremely effective way to calm and prevent anxiety is to stay present-focused. It is almost impossible to become anxious and stressed if we are truly focused on the moment.
Chances are you've had this experience naturally: getting lost in a moment of extreme focus such as when playing sports or musical instruments, creating art, working on a hobby, a compelling project or are connecting with nature. It is impossible to be worrying while genuinely engrossed in an experience - we often lose track of time and everything else, including our stress and anxiety.
There are simple ways to recreate this type of present-oriented focus, such as learning easy breathing techniques, sensory awareness, guided meditation or mindfulness training.
These skills pay off exponentially by calming stress and anxiety AND protecting us from it in the future. Like physical exercise, the more we practice mindfulness techniques, the better we get at them.
The next time you find yourself feeling anxious or stressed, "pay attention to your attention" (Jha) - notice what you're focusing on. Most likely you are focusing on the negatives while also ruminating about the past or worrying and catastrophizing about the future. Try learning some simple ways to bring your focus back to the present moment and notice that your anxiety and stress will calm down immediately.
