Wednesday, December 23, 2015

Are You Guilty?

Guilt is an uncomfortable feeling that most people will try hard to avoid.  However, a wise colleague of mine once explained that guilt may not always be a bad thing:

"When the choice is between guilt or resentment, guilt is the healthier option."
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Guilt is a sign that you are meeting your needs, as opposed to someone else's, and you feel some guilt about doing so.
Resentment is the opposite of guilt - it indicates that you are taking care of other peoples' needs at the expense of your own. This breeds resentment.

It is much better to choose guilt than resentment for two important reasons:
1) to acknowledge and meet your needs whenever it is possible and healthy to do so
2) to salvage your relationships - once you start resenting someone, the relationship is at high risk for ending.

Right now, in the midst of the holiday season where there is a lot of pressure and expectations put upon us, see if this applies to you and if you can allow yourself to meet your own needs rather than dismiss them.  Guilt is uncomfortable, but resentment is often much worse.