The one thing that causes universal pain, angst, unease, sleepless nights, irritibility, health problem and many more troubles is Holding In Your Feelings. Repeatedly I see people feeling stuck and suffering with confusion, anger, sadness and grief over unspoken feelings. Someone did something to them and, for one reason or another, they did not express their feelings at the time. They held the feelings in, but.....the feelings did not go away!
We've all been there and I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Perhaps you've laid awake at night replaying the scene and imagined yourself saying what you didn't say the first time around; maybe you rehearse what you really want to say, what you WISH you had said when it happened; maybe each time you are about to see the person you tell yourself "THIS time I am going to say something!", and yet you don't. Something stops you.
It's fine to keep things to yourself; however, it's not healthy to stay emotionally stuck. There are many ways to help you move forward and get un-stuck. It's not always necessary (and sometimes it's not a good idea) to actually tell the person what you're feeling. Sometimes it's helpful to write a letter to the person without sending it to them. This can release some of the feelings and allow you to let go. Sometimes you may decide to take a deep breath and just tell the person what you've been holding in all this time. There are times when we need help to let go. A trusted friend or mentor can give some perspective. When you're really stuck, a trained professional can use many different strategies to help you find what you need to move forward.
