We all want to be happy. The desire for happiness drives most of our choices and behaviors: where we work, who we socialize with, who we date or marry, how we spend our free time. Sometimes we go to extremes - surgeries, lifestyle changes, severing relationships, etc. However, there is one factor that is often overlooked and may be one of the most important components in feeling happy: having a victim-mindset. If you, or someone you know, lives this way, it may be preventing you from the very happiness you're seeking.
Victim-mindset people are very focused on what other people are saying and doing; they rarely focus on what they are doing to create or perpetuate a situation. They often feel angry, hurt, betrayed by the world and justified in those feelings. They may complain repeatedly about all the ways they've been mistreated, or they may retreat and isolate themselves from the world, feeling justified in doing either. They don't understand how to take responsibility for the circumstances in their lives.
There are small ways we get victimized (getting on the wrong line at the supermarket or getting stuck behind someone driving slowly) and big ways, such as being assaulted, betrayed or robbed. We can't control all situations, but how we choose to experience and respond to them determines how powerless (victimized) or empowered we feel, which will affect how much peace and happiness we have.
Why give someone else the power to affect your emotions, thoughts and actions? You may not have been able to do anything about what happened to you, but you can decide how you want to move forward. As soon as you stop focusing on others and start taking ownership for whatever situation you're in - even if you feel certain someone else is to blame - you will begin to have more peace and, eventually, more happiness.
What actions and choices can you make to reclaim your sense of peace and power? How can you take back what was taken from you and refocus on yourself and your own goals? Sometimes it means taking action, sometimes it means simply letting go of the past and choosing to move forward.
Do you recognize yourself or someone else in these descriptions? If so, appreciate your courage at facing something uncomfortable and taking steps towards become happier.
