Friday, December 12, 2014

The Gift of "No"

Here we are in the full swing of the holiday season: parties, gatherings, shopping, gift giving, list making, work events, childrens' school concerts --  the list goes on and on. The expectations and pressure can be daunting, to say the least. We are asked to show up, contribute, host, travel, spend money, navigate traffic and crowded stores, bake/cook, clean, etc, all while being festive and cheerful.

Ask yourself how many holiday-related activities you're participating in out of obligation, and what is the emotional or physical price you're paying for doing so? Are you feeling stressed, anxious, overwhelmed and/or resentful? Perhaps you're short-tempered and missing out on things that really matter to you, or maybe you're tolerating the company of others who don't treat you kindly. 

What would your ideal, peaceful holiday season be like, and how close can you come to attaining that? What things are important to you, and what things would you like to say "no" to? Many people find it difficult to say "no" and feel that doing so is selfish and will upset someone. Did you learn somewhere that saying "no" and setting limits is not allowed? If so, the lesson you really learned is that you and your needs are less important than others' needs

The spirit of the holiday season is about love, sharing, connecting with loved ones and finding peace. Are you giving yourself those gifts? If not, perhaps you can give yourself the gift of "no", and by doing so, truly enjoy the things you say "yes" to.