Last week's school shooting has left most of us shaken to our cores. In my personal life as well as in my practice I see people deeply affected and unable to put to words exactly what they're feeling.
This is normal. What happened was not just an unspeakable horror to those who were directly involved, it has traumatized each of us.
It is a deep human instinct to protect children. Not just our own children, all children. Even in times of war, it is expected (although not always followed, tragically) that children will be spared.
When someone intentionally walks into an elementary school and slaughters young children, we are disturbed at a primal level. It feels un-human and defys our most basic comprehension: children are beautiful, innocent, cherished beings; our job is to protect them, celebrate them, raise them. We are left struggling to make sense of this type of horror and truthfully, we can't.
It is normal to have a trauma reaction to this type of violence: feelings of deep despair, a general anxiety or unease, hopelessness, fear and a lack of security in the world in general. These feelings can vary from mild to extreme. If you or someone you know is having these feelings, know that they are normal. Provide support and as much consistency, routine and comfort as you can. Give yourself permission to avoid listening to the news, it can re-traumatize you. Doing so doesn't mean you don't care about what happened; in fact it may be that you care deeply and need some distance to regain a sense of comfort.
One very important tool you can use to restore your sense of safety is to focus not on the horror and the details of the person who committed the crime, but rather focus on the goodness that is being brought out in people. There is unspeakable evil in the world, and there is also great love, support, compassion and caring. When you are feeling overwhelmed and traumatized by events such as these, focusing on the goodness can be comforting.
