A week ago, Robin Williams' daughter Zelda Williams acknowledged the anniversary of her father's death on her instagram page by writing about her own grief and journey towards healing. Something she wrote stuck with me, it's a mistake I see people struggling with every day: she said "avoiding fear, sadness or anger is not the same thing as being happy".
Many people think that if they feel uncomfortable, something must be wrong and they should run from whatever is causing these feelings. This is a serious error. Yes, we all want to feel happy, but thinking you will attain that by running from discomfort will actually create the opposite. In the simplest of cases, we will delay our healing process; in the worst cases we can find ourselves addicted to distractions and false sources of feeling good (drugs, food, relationships, drama, work, gambling, etc).
It is through spending time with our fear, sadness and anger that we learn about ourselves, about what we value and need; we develop compassion for ourselves and others, and we heal. Then we find true happiness that is based upon inner peace, love and acceptance. It's not easy to face the things that make us uncomfortable, but rarely do we gain anything worthwhile without signigicant effort. Being happy takes courage and hard work.
