It's our second day at sea and I'm sitting on the deck of the Celebrity Summit cruise ship as we make our way from New York to Bermuda. With nothing around but ocean on every side and not much to do but relax and anticipate Bermuda, I think how upsetting it would be if, half-way there, the captain made an announcement: "Sorry everyone, we've been sailing towards Bermuda for two days but we didn't make it yet. I've looked around, since we are still at sea, clearly this journey has been a failure. I don't have what it takes to get us there, I'm sorry. We will go back to New York now. We tried. Oh well."
Bizarre, right? It would be even more upsetting if, after resting in New York for a while, the captain tried it again, this time determined to make it, and again stopped half-way there, proclaimed the trip a failure for not being in Bermuda yet and, once again, returned to New York without ever arriving in Bermuda.
It goes without saying that this fictitious captain gave up too soon. If he had just stayed the course one more day we all would have arrived happily in Bermuda. Yet this is what many people do every day. They set goals: career, health, educational, fitness, relationship, etc, they put forth good effort and start making some progress; however, instead of focusing on how far they've come and what they've achieved, they focus on where they're not, proclaim themselves a failure and give up. In addition to frustration or loss, this creates a feeling of hopelessness, powerlessness and anxiety.
The next time you are feeling anxious or hopeless about accomplishing your goals, see if you are doing what my fictional captain did - disregarding your accomplishments, however big or small they are, and giving up too soon. Instead, see if you can shift your focus to how far you have come, what you have accomplished and push forward for one more day. Focusing on your strengths and what you've accomplished will empower you and reduce your anxiety.
See "Coping With Anxiety, Part 1" and "Coping With Anxiety, Part 3"
