You are reaching for that second brownie and change your mind, calling in sick to work but feeling guilty or making yourself volunteer for another fundraiser when you are exhausted and it's the last thing you feel like doing. Why? Whose voices are you listening to?
We often feel we "should" or "shouldn't" do something ("If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all", "Boys don't cry", "You must finish all the food on your plate") regardless of what our inner self is feeling ("But I really want to tell him/her how hurt I feel", "I am really upset and feel like crying", "I am SO full!").
You will recognize that this is happening by some inner feeling of conflict. When this happens, ask yourself whose voice you're listening to? Is it your mother's or father's, a teacher's, your spouse's or friend's? Ask yourself how long you've been listening to this voice. Often these "shoulds" become ingrained in us as children and we carry them with us, sometimes for quite a long time.
Then ask yourself what would happen if you stopped listening to those voices and did what you really wanted instead....???
If that thought is scary, ask yourself what exactly you are afraid of.
Some of these voices are beneficial and remind us to stick to our goals ("You want to loose weight, don't eat that second brownie"), but sometimes they force us to behave in ways that create inner conflict ("I can't tell my neighbor how I really feel about what he/she did. I'll smile and pretend everything is ok") which can create emotional and even physical distress.
So ask yourself whose voices you're listening to and are they the ones you really want to follow? Sometimes we limit ourselves by old fears that we don't have to hold on to anymore.
